


If I Could But Dream Forever...

by Lorena_Shepard



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Character Death, Dreams, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heartbreak, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Post-Blight, The Fade, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:15:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorena_Shepard/pseuds/Lorena_Shepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Warden-Commander many years after the Blight (possibly before or during Inquisition), traveling with her trusty Mabari across the wilderness. And haunted by memory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to try and write the Warden as any race/class...but it didn't work out that way :/  
> Also, I know it's short. The next one will longer.  
> Hope you enjoy anyway!

She was no stranger to camping, the Blight had made certain of that. The old habits of setting wards, raising her tent, and starting a fire were worn into her bone and muscle. It was nostalgic, comforting...and lonely. She never thought she would miss the arguing and bustle of her companions, nor the constant threat of a power-crazy Teyrn, a darkspawn horde, and an Archdemon.  
Her lip twitched in a near smirk; ah yes, those were the days.

  
_Justice, Sigrun, Sten, Velanna, Oghren, Shale, Anders, Leliana, Wynne, Nathaniel, Zevran, Morrigan..._

Brute nudged her sharply, whining under his breath.  
"Right," she murmured, petting the scarred Mabari. _Best to not think of Alis-_

  
_Them._

  
_Best not to think of_ them. _Or of what was._

  
"I have you, isn't that right?"

  
The Mabari barked and wagged his hindquarters enthusiastically. She settled in to her new routine, complete with her loyal Mabari, and began to make their supper.

  
* * * *

  
Night came early to the forest, the trees drinking the last remnants of sunlight long before they reached her. Brute was already dozing by the fire, taking as much rest as possible for their travels tomorrow. He was still relatively young for a Mabari, but being the wardog of the Warden-Commander had its good days, and its bad days. Though his appetite remained the same, she noticed how he tended to sleep more nowadays. That he seemed to take longer to recover from battles...they were both aging, she supposed. Her own body had creaks and hurts she did not remember receiving, not to mention the age lines slowly creeping into her face. Perhaps it was nothing, but she felt beyond her years, regardless.

  
She turned her mind towards her habits: check the wards, lay out the bedroll, stoke the fire.

  
By the time she completed her tasks, night had fully set in and she took out her journal to record the day's events. What was there to say, that she still had not found a cure for the taint? That she had almost no leads? That she was walking blind? That she was looking for a cure to save one man, the only man that-

  
"Maker," she breathed aloud. "Stop."

  
It would eventually stop, right? This pain in her chest. The ache that had healed but never quite faded away. Ten years had passed, they barely saw one another, and yet it remained.  
Closing her eyes, she tried not to picture his face, his smile, his touch...

  
She did not remember falling asleep as she drifted into the Fade.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bonding moment for the Origins companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically an extension of the first chapter, the next chapter will be...explicit.

They made camp beside a river that evening as the sun set behind the hills, casting a warm orange glow across the land. Wynne started a fire as the others began to pitch their tents in an odd circle around the flames, jostling and teasing one another as they went through their routine. Morrigan, as usual, made her own camp separate from the others and did not join in their frivolities, but she seemed to smirk at their antics regardless. Zevran roasted three large game-birds he had caught earlier that day over the flames as Shale looked on approvingly. Brute rested near his master as she, Alistair, Sten, and Leliana cleaned their weapons and armor from the days' journey.  
  
They spoke companionably as they ate, laughing boisterously as Zevran finished another tale from his childhood in the Antivan whorehouse. Leliana suddenly clapped her hands together.  
  
"I have a wonderful idea!" reaching for her lute, she strummed a tune that had Zevran on his feet in an instant. "You know this song, yes?"  
  
"I wouldn't be an Antivan if I did not," Zevran helped her to her feet. "However, the song will lose it's charm if one does not dance. Play on, my dear Bard!" He and Leliana shared a dramatic bow to one another before she began to play on her lute. Only when she began to sing, did Zevran begin his dance. His arms waved gracefully as his feet carried him through the dirt surrounding the fire, seizing Wynne as he went. To everyone's surprise, especially Zevran, Wynne joined him without argument and her face was lit with joy as they spun around the fire together. With a sidelong glance Alistair moved to stand, reaching down his hand to her.  
  
"May I have this dance, Lady Warden?" he breathed, his cheeks pink and his smile wide. She reached for him, her ears hot with embarrassment, and was pulled from the ground effortlessly. In an instant they were stamping their feet, whirling and twirling to Leliana's voice, their laughter shamelessly echoing off the surrounding trees as the full moon rose around them. She was uncertain of how long they danced or how foolish they probably looked to their audience, but she did not care. She cared only for the cool wind tossing her hair as she danced, the sound of her friends around her, and the fullness of her heart as Alistair met her eyes and his hand warm tightened around her own.  
  
Later, once they had exhausted themselves with dancing and laughter, she lay snugly in Alistair's embrace as he traced his fingers along her skin. She shivered slightly as he delicately touched her, his touch leaving her skin wanting in its wake. Cupping her face in his hand, he pulled back only to look at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the darkness. She smiled and turned her face into his palm, nuzzling him before placing a kiss in the center. Enveloping her in his arms, he pulled her impossibly closer to his chest, his nose in her hair, before he kissed his way down her forehead, temple, cheek, and -at last- to her waiting lips. When they parted, she lay her head against his chest, her eyes heavy with sleep. Alistair chuckled softly, tracing the long line of her pointed ears before whispering tenderly:  
  
"I love you, Luca."  
  
As she drifted off to sleep, loved in his arms, she wondered how it were possible to be so happy.  
  
****  
  
She woke with a start, alone but for Brute snoring quietly beside her. The stars had fled the sky and a light pink dawn began to peek through the line of trees. Her fire still burned, the only feature in common with her dream. More of a memory than a dream. She remembered it well: It had been the first time she really felt like they were her family, that they might succeed in their mission to defeat the Archdemon and save Fereldan. The first time she knew that she would die for them, a feeling that spurred her on despite the odds stacked against them. The first time that she realized just how much she loved them all with all her heart.  
  
But that was long ago. Perhaps even another lifetime. Because here, now, there were no companions watching over her, nor any sweet music, no lively dancing, and definitely not a pair of warm arms around her. Just a cold morning dew glistening on her skin and an ache writhing in her guts as reality settled in around her. Her eyes began to burn furiously.  
  
_This is not the first dream,_ she told herself firmly. _Breathe. Just...breathe._  
  
She remained there with her eyes closed, shaking from the cold on her skin and the overwhelming ache in her heart, until the sun rose above the trees and the sounds of the waking forest forced her from her thoughts. She packed up her small camp and they left the forest by midday, her memories never far from surfacing.


End file.
